Well, I also have a "BFF" that is a girl. We've known each other for around 8 years, and even though we are now geographically far apart, we still keep in touch. She is the one I have always felt most comfortable around, and I am that same person for her. We're both quirky and adventurous, and I am grateful that I have had someone that understands me so well... all except for one thing....
For some reason, she recently decides that our past conversations have been too often about her own problems, and she is prying to get to know me better, which means asking lots of really serious, probing questions. Of course, the issue of romance comes up...
The strange thing is that, even though I've NEVER felt a romantic vibe between me and her, even though we are very close, she reveals that in the last couple of weeks she had a crush on me. I think she has gotten over that (I may not have given her the most sensitive of responses). But there is one question she keeps asking and I keep refusing to answer. She says that I know all about every crush she has ever had, but she doesn't know anything about my crushes. She wants to know which of her friends (female) I have had crushes on. She also keeps wondering why I never talk to her about "the girls I meet." I always have smart-ass responses, but she keeps prying, and I just might think it's time to tell her why I haven't been talking to her all that much about girls.
BUT... here is the problem. Though she seems to usually have an open mind, she is a member of this this super conservative church, and since going there, she has become very reluctant to question what they teach. I'm pretty sure her opinion of homosexuality is that it's sinful, God wants to fix it, and until it is fixed, one should pray harder, read the Bible more, and not pursue any gay relationships.
BUT... she has never had any close friends come out, especially anyone as close as I am. And, she is a very smart person. She would listen to everything I have to say. She might even be accepting. BUT, then again she might not be so accepting. What if this pushes her away? What if she insists that I seek some kind of quasi-spiritual brainwashing (i.e., ex-gay ministry) or decides she wants to pray that I would be "healed" of this. What if this becomes the only thing our relationship revolves around? What if... the worst thing of all... she, in an effort to move the process along, lets my parents know.
I have come a long way in the past few, short month in dealing with my sexuality, and I want more than anything to come out to a friend. She would be the perfect one to come out to first. She has opened up a conversation that would be the perfect opportunity to discuss this. And, I might see her within the next month in person, which would be the perfect time.
Should I do it? Is it too risky? If not her, then WHO? I feel so strongly that she is the right one to tell, but there is so much that could go terribly wrong!