Friday, August 15, 2008

What to do?!?!

Within one year from now I will be (hopefully) out of school and making a huge career move.  I have been at home with my family this week, and have come under pressure to find my way back close to home when I go to a full-time ministry job. 

However, I have no desire to work in this area (the deep south). There's no way I can find a church that is supportive and it would be no fun to go "covert" in this area--there's just no scene at all and no gay-friendly organizations.  The only reason I would ever want to work here is to become that support and role model that is missing for people in this area.  But.. am I ready for that? I have not fully realized who I am myself, how can I help other people come through it?

So how horrible is it to stay far away from family?  I love my family, I just don't want to live where they live. What happens when they eventually get sick? Am I going to be the jerk sibling that is no help and is never around?

I'm also getting a little concerned about how I'm going to handle the decision of wether I should "don't ask, don't tell" or to seek a welcoming and affirming church when looking for a job. It comes down to a very practical matter which I wish wasn't an issue: student loans...

I would love to take a very well-paying job for a few years to pay off loans and save a little. Then, I can do what I want to! However, there aren't many W&A churches, particularly in my denomination, that have big budgets or big membership rosters. Those things are absolutely not important to me.. I just want to be "stable" before I launch into any sort of activism.  So, it's looking more and more like I'm just going to have to fly under the radar for a few years when I go into full-time ministry.

Ugh... Is there any other way? Maybe I should be just a social worker or a school teacher or something!

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