Saturday, June 14, 2008

A theory (gays who marry straight)

There are insurmountable obstacles that many GLBT persons face in choosing whether or not to come out: family resistance, religious intolerance, career security, etc. However, I think the strongest force in keeping the doors shut on many closets is the large number of gays who have chosen to marry someone of the opposite gender, have children, and live a "straight" life for many years.

When I think of several acquaintances, whom I highly suspect are gay, that marry women, I feel very sorry for them. My own trappings seem horrible, but it is certainly nothing like admitting such a deep lie to a spouse and potentially breaking up the very family you helped to create!

And that is why I think most religious leaders are hesitant to affirm homosexuals. If they personally accept homosexuality for others it forces them to deal with their own lies. Once they come to a place of acceptance for others, it is certainly much more difficult to keep up their own theatrics of straight life.

I would never minimize the difficulties of leaders in civil rights and women's liberation, however, in those struggles, at least we knew who was what. Homosexuals often experience silent, invisible injustice, and I predict this will be a struggle that will not quickly come to an end.

I hurt for these people and I and thankful that something kept me from going down the same path, for I could have just as easily made the same decisions. In a way, I don't even want to think of advocating for gay rights because of the intense hurt that it will inflict on so many. However, the hurt will only be prolonged if we don't confront this now. In the words of M. L. King, J.r, "The time is always right to do what is right."

Have mercy on us.

1 comment:

KJ said...

Agreed, jx.

In my own journey, I some times puzzle about why that "something" (aka, the Spirit of God) prevented me, like you, from pursuing a marriage of convenience and cover, while others have entered into such commitments. For me, the thought of not being truthful to a life partner was more than I could consider.

You are also correct that silence keeps the masquerade alive. As more and more of us come out, fewer and fewer religious leaders will have the convenience of relying on bias in their understanding of the glbt believers.