uh oh. I don't know if I can stand this. I was doing just fine with my repressed emotions. lol. I had to go and look around and now I've ended up falling for someone with whom I have not even had a substantial conversation. I freak out every time I get a text message. Then I freak out as I wonder if I replied the wrong way.. if I coming off as stalkerish, boring, pretentious, needy, etc. I mean, it's probably someone that I would NEVER work well with as far as a relationship is concerned... we're so very different. But they're there.. and they're so pretty... and I can't freaking concentrate.
I really need to be able to concentrate at this very precise juncture in my life. There will be plenty of time for letting my thoughts run wild. But right now, I can't seem to stop it! I've opened up something that I can't seem to close. I know... it's all silly.. but I just can't shake it off.
Damn! Wouldn't I have been better off just staying retreated in my hole somewhere?
This boy is the first thing I think about when I wake up and the last thing that I think about as I fall to sleep.. which I have a hard time doing as I think about him.
What the fuck is wrong with me? I don't get like this. Ever!!! I'm in control, I've got my shit together... except when it's not, when is right now!
There's a reason most people have these kinds of experiences when they're teenagers and still stupid enough to not realize it's wrecking their life! LOL