Where I am

I haven't posted in a while, but I don't want to leave this behind just yet, so here's sort of a rambling update.

It'd mid-semester and crazy as usual. The course work is not so hard this semester, but with graduation and the future very near in the future, stress levels are about as high as they usually are.

The gay thing... well I've sort of turned that off here lately. I do tend to speak a bit more openly about what I think about such things as Christianity and homosexuality, gay marriage, etc., and I also don't really put up much of a front any more. I pretty much say "not interested in dating" and don't try to pretend like I want to date women. Basically I do everything except officially say "I'm gay." Maybe some people have figured it out.. maybe they're still clueless. I don't know, and I don't particularly care what they think at this point. I just need this season to pass.

I do have a new friend in town who I met online, and we hang out every now and then. It's a nice low-expectations kind of friendship and we seem very comfortable when we're hanging out. I do freak out sometimes about going to public places... movie theaters, restaurants, bars, etc. because he is not in my usual "social circle" so I'm not sure how I would answer questions like "hey, who are you?" if I ran into someone I know. I really hate being that way, but that part of my life is still there.

My future place of employment may turn out to be something I was not expecting. That is, I might be staying where I currently am. I have mixed motions about this. I love the people, but I don't see myself making much personal progress while here. I will still have to compartmentalize different aspects of my life. But, on the other hand, I have great empathy for places like this, and I wish I could help bring about the needed change there. In order to do that, I have to be present. It's not forever.. we'll see how it turns out.

Things are generally good... I just need some direction at the moment.

Peace to you! Please comment and tell me how YOU are doing.