Haggard's latest

Go over to towleroad and read this about the new Ted Haggard scandal.

This makes me hate conservative Christianity.

I get so tired of the bullshit. Haggard gets found out, says it didn't happen. Then he says it did, but only once. Then evangelical leaders say they can fix him. Then they said they did. Then Haggard says well not exactly and that he still loves his wife and is so "hurt" by his God-damned church. Then this comes out, that he had a sexual relationship with a 20 year old man at his church--like it's really a big surprise! Meanwhile Haggard is still on this money-making kick saying that his sexuality is a result of abuse or some shit like that, and that the church has dealt with him unfairly.

Maybe the church has dealt with him unfairly, but it's a church that HE built, and they're using the same hateful rhetoric for which he gave precedence.

I shed a tear when I watched that video above. Not because I feel such great compassion for these people involved, but because I'm so damn angry and so tired of the bullshit! I get tired of the facade that Christians put up. I get tired of the superficial standards that we assume are Christian. I get so tired of churches who hold on to what they think the Bible says about homosexuality all the while they are molesting people and paying others off not to tell.

Moments like this, I'm not sure the diplomatic, slow, pastoral way of dealing with things is most appropriate. Jesus had his patient, compassionate, shepherding side, but he also had his furious, direct, confrontational and unrelenting way of doing things. On this issue, we need the latter. We need to start calling bull shit when we see it. We need to break away from the whole system of shallow spiritual formation that leads so many faithful people to close their mind and mindlessly accept the dogma that is preached at them. It's time to be real, to drop the flowery Christian-ese, and tell it like it is.

I think I am angry because I feel caught right in the middle of this. I've been led along to a career path to serve a church that says I do not conform to their status quo. I'm surrounded by people who want to be open minded and tolerant, yet they can't let go of the old habits, the old language, and the old beliefs--and these things seem to ALWAYS trump their acceptance of those who are different. Everyone seems to be hoping this will get resolved, but they don't want to be the ones to speak up and make things different.

It will probably take way more than one person, but I feel like I am supposed to be one of those people. I pray that I have the courage to be one of those people. However, we will need advocates: in particular, straight, white males in leadership. We can march, we can scream, but we can't change anything until someone from the "other side" buys it. How many more pastors have to get caught in this destructive cycle? How many more 20 year olds will be seduced by sexually oppressed men in positions of authority? How many more dollars will be spent to maintain the appearance that everything is ok?